Silence actually isn’t empty; it’s full of possibility.
In sales, relationships, and even casual conversations, silence is often undervalued. We rush to fill pauses, affirm what someone is saying, or interject with little noises like “mm-hmm” or “yes” to show we’re listening.
What if true connection — and even transformation — lies in not doing that?
Silence, when used intentionally, can be one of the most powerful tools we have in conversations.
It’s not simply refraining from speaking (though much can be accomplished by starting there). It’s really creating a space for the other person to fully explore their thoughts, emotions, and truths without interruption.
In sales and one-on-one conversations, this is especially important. When we ask a question like:
1.
“What’s going well for you?”
2.
“What’s challenging about that for you, if anything?”
… and then allow silence to follow, we give the other person a chance to go deep. And we give ourselves space to see if our services can help their struggles or amplify their success, without needing to consume energy on convincing, poking, prodding, or trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.
This silence lets their subconscious mind surface safely, helping them connect with the truth of what they want and need without any manipulation.
It’s in these moments of unbroken flow that clarity emerges — not because we’ve pushed or persuaded, but because we’ve provided space for them to reveal it themselves.
It’s like when you let a quiet room amplify the smallest sound — what’s been covered now rises to the surface naturally. The silence becomes a gentle container, allowing their thoughts and emotions to breathe and expand. Remember: it’s not about controlling the outcome of the conversation – no matter how much you want a particular one – but creating the conditions for their truth to emerge, fully and freely.
So what happens when we break the silence?
When we fill the space with affirming noises or comments, even with the best intentions, it can disrupt this delicate process of flow and realizing truth.
Maybe you’ve noticed this while listening to a podcast, or being interviewed for one: an “mm-hmm” or “yes” might seem harmless, yet it can pull you or the person out of their deeper thought process. Suddenly, instead of staying connected to their own emotions and reflections, they’re responding to you.
Even a simple acknowledgment can shift the focus of the conversation away from them and toward your reactions. This can make it harder for them to feel safe enough to fully express themselves.
This dilutes the power of your presence.
True presence doesn’t require verbal affirmations. It’s felt through your stillness, your attentive listening, and the non-judgemental, open energy you hold for the other person.
When we stay silent, we’re saying, without words: “I’m here. I’m with you. This space is yours to fill however you need.” Safety and alignment with true needs will follow.
Let’s break down what silence offers:
For You:
Deeper insight: When you allow silence, you’ll often learn far more about the other person than you would by interjecting or affirming (especially with your judgements). People naturally share more when they feel they won’t be interrupted.
Heightened presence: You become more attuned to their body language, tone, and unspoken emotions, allowing you to respond with greater empathy and alignment. (This is the heart of healing Sales Trauma!)
For Them:
- Freedom to process: Silence gives them the space to uncover their own truths, rather than being steered by your comments or reactions and ultimately to connect with their inner wisdom.
- Safety: A quiet, nonjudgmental space can feel profoundly safe. It signals that they’re not being rushed or influenced, they have the time to unfold while genuinely being supported and witnessed.
- Self-discovery: In the absence of interruptions, they’re more likely to connect with deeper insights about what they truly want or need. Their clear knowing emerges from self awareness.
All of these benefits greatly increase your likelihood of signing ideal clients and securing referrals – not to mention amplifying the incredible power of your fulfillment.
And this isn’t just about sales; silence is a gift in any conversation.
In relationships, it allows your loved ones to feel heard and valued.
In leadership, it gives your team space to contribute their best ideas.
In podcasting or interviews, it lets the speaker reveal more of their brilliance without distraction.
Try experimenting with the power of silence in your conversations using this practice: When you ask a question, practice staying completely silent afterward. Let the other person fill the space in their own time. Just breathe while you receive their response.
What do you gain from practicing silence with presence? What does the other person gain?
By intentionally creating space in your conversations, you’re offering a profound gift: the chance for someone to fully explore and express their truth. It’s a new standard in connecting with others, and something we can play with every time we ask someone a question or they engage to tell us a story.
How much can we convey through a simple nod or kind gaze, without words or sounds?
This gift, rooted in presence and respect, is at the core of Ethical Sales — and it’s a practice we can carry into every area of life.
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Marla Mattenson
With a 25+ year career, Mattenson is a trailblazer in transforming sales paradigms from transactional to relational for professionals who prioritize the integrity & fulfillment of their services. She is a champion of consent-based sales.
www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson
