A few days ago, I had a conversation with one of my team members, about something we’ve all experienced in business: feeling like there’s never enough time, energy, or resources to do everything we want to do.
At first, we were talking about lack mentality; then as we dug deeper, we realized that what we were talking about isn’t really a mindset. It is a frequency — a way of being, a vibration running through our thoughts, bodies, and actions.
The Hidden Stress of “Not Enough”
It began when I noticed the stress around one of our big goals. The weight of it felt heavy for them, like a looming deadline rather than an exciting opportunity. I saw how easy it was to slip into a lack-based way of thinking:
There’s not enough time.
There’s not enough energy.
There’s not enough interest.
I brought it up to this team member, sharing my perspective on how business can be enjoyable rather than stressful. If we’re having fun cracking the codes of marketing together, why does it have to feel so hard?
I talked about how fear and love are interwoven, not binary opposites: we exist on a spectrum, shifting between contraction and expansion. Lack, stress, and pressure are all on one side of the spectrum; joy, creativity, and trust are on the other.
So I asked them, “What are you receiving from this? What does it remind you of?”
Their response was raw and real. They weren’t just experiencing lack as a thought — they were feeling it in their body.
“I don’t yet have the skill set to create time spaciousness,” they said. “I know I need creativity and play, but when my body doesn’t feel spacious, I can’t access it.”
I could feel the truth in that.
It’s one thing to say, “Just shift your mindset,” but it’s another when your body is holding onto stress, tightening, bracing, trying to keep up. They were aware of the lack mentality. And awareness is the first step, yet isn’t enough to shift the experience entirely.
The body must be included.
Listening to the “Ugly Thoughts” Instead of Pushing Them Away
Instead of trying to force our way out of this feeling, I suggested something different:
“What if we just let the resentment and fear be there? Not try to get rid of it, to listen to it?”
Most of us try to push away negativity. We try to think positively or reframe our mindset — yet those thoughts don’t just disappear. They come back. Again and again. (And, it’s actually a natural, normal part of being human).
Instead of resisting, I invited them to dump it all out — every ugly thought, every fear, every frustration — so we could hold it together.
Because when we hold it together, we can strategize together. We can start to see the patterns we’ve unintentionally created — like taking on too much, saying “yes” to everything, and then feeling overwhelmed and resentful.
My team member had fallen into the hair-on-fire approach in business — taking on everything because they cared so deeply. And I knew exactly where that path leads: burnout.
I reminded them, “It’s not just about getting things done in the short term. If we keep going like this, it will lead to burnout for you and a potential collapse or dip for the company.”
This wasn’t just about them. It was about the energy we’re building our business with. If we layer fear and urgency into every step, we’ll eventually have to go back and rebuild everything from a new foundation. (This is what leads to the “dumpster fire” approach to feeling overwhelmed with a business you created and now don’t enjoy).
From Lack Mentality to Lack Frequency
That’s when we had our breakthrough:
“Lack mentality isn’t just a thought — it’s a frequency.”
Lack isn’t just a belief that there’s not enough — it’s a tone, a vibration running through our words, actions, and bodies. It’s in our thoughts, yes, and it’s also in:
The way our bodies tighten under stress, and even get sick.
The urgency or flatness in our voices when we talk about deadlines.
The way we brace ourselves instead of relaxing into what may happen in the positive.
When team meetings feel like a burden or simply “ugh.”
Lack isn’t just mental. It’s energetic. And that means shifting out of it isn’t just about thinking differently. It’s about including the body to feel differently, which leads to thinking differently naturally.
A New Way of Doing Business
As we wrapped up the conversation, I felt emotional. I care about this team member. I care about our team as a whole. And I won’t build a company that’s woven with fear and exhaustion.
I told them, “You deserve to be in your zone of joy and genius, just like you helped me get into mine. And you don’t have to suffer to succeed.”
Because that’s the biggest lie of lack frequency: that suffering is the price we pay for success.
It’s not.
We can do business another way.
We can move through the mess together in supportive collaboration, without collapsing under it.
We can say no, without fear that everything will fall apart.
We can create spaciousness, even when there are a hundred things to do.
And most importantly, we can build a company that’s rooted in trust, joy, ease, and service — not just urgency and getting things done.
So, where is lack frequency showing up in your business or life? And what would it feel like to build something without the frequency of lack?
If you’d like extra help moving from the physical experience of lack frequency and into more relaxation and creativity, watch our free Polyvagal-informed training “From Freakout to Freedom.”
You deserve more ease and joy in your life and business!
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Marla Mattenson
With a 25+ year career, Mattenson is a trailblazer in transforming sales paradigms from transactional to relational for professionals who prioritize the integrity & fulfillment of their services. She is a champion of consent-based sales.
www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson
