I recently was in my DMs on Instagram going back and forth with a friend about the concept that fear is learned.
She shared that she was having this same discussion with another dear friend of hers, and how they were talking about the different forms fear has expressed through in their lives.
The most prominent? Low self-esteem – and how she doesn’t want to pass this form of fear onto her young daughter. That she is doing everything she can to become more aware of this pattern of low self-esteem.
That sounds great – but how?
Well, we can utilize the number one tool of transforming patterns for anything (including any fear you may be feeling):
Reflection.
Reflection is the willingness to look at what is.
This often includes seeing what we don’t want to see.
For my friend, as she has the courage to notice where low self-esteem is still expressing itself in her life, that courage of reflection will help her recognize and name it instead of trying to “get rid of” the low self-esteem. Or, to posture and pretend it’s not there.
How do we practice Reflection?
You can replace “low self-esteem” with whatever feels most challenging for you right now. See if you can break it down to its basic building blocks: control, anxiety, depression, anger, rage, impatience, withholding, lack/not enough, arrogance, narcissistic tendencies, withholding.
1.
ASK: Once you identify your main challenge as the special focus for your reflection, ask yourself this reflection question,
“Where does ______ still reside in me? Even a grain of sand’s worth?”
2.
ALLOW: Then, be still and allow the response to come.
3.
RECEIVE: You may get an image – a visual representation of where it’s hiding out in yourself and your life – you may hear something, you may get a sense without words.
4.
CAPTURE: Capture what you receive as your inner response in a note in your phone or a journal.
5.
BECOME MORE AWARE: When you receive the inner wisdom, just let it be without needing to do anything about it. Don’t make changes. Just notice. Become more aware of when and where that pattern is expressing itself, and notice what happens when it’s in its more subtle forms or in full blown action.
This process is very personal.
When you practice Reflection in this way, you’ll gently reveal the truth of yourself to you. And once you know the truth, what brought you fear before doesn’t activate you in the same way. Instead, see if you notice how your awareness actually brings you wisdom on what to do next. Having clarity for what to do is an antidote to fear.
Tips for practicing Reflection:
- Ask yourself the reflection question when you wake up in the morning and before you go to bed at night if you want to accelerate your awareness and naturally shift the pattern.
- Be sure to request the wisdom to be revealed with GEJF (pronounced GEH-jiff) which stands for Grace, Ease, Joy & Flow.
- When you request reflection prior to bed, know that you’re requesting your dreamtime to be part of your awareness. Dream analysis is a fun and potent way to understand the challenges of our daily lives and to notice as they shift.
Sending comfort & uplift for where fear may currently be expressing itself in your life, and loving vibes for your Reflection.
READ NEXT:
Marla Mattenson
With a 25+ year career, Mattenson is a trailblazer in transforming sales paradigms from transactional to relational for professionals who prioritize the integrity & fulfillment of their services. She is a champion of consent-based sales.
www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson
