The Active Referral is one of the most powerful, yet often overlooked, methods for enrolling ideal clients. It remains underutilized because many professionals aren’t aware of it, and even when they are, it takes courage to implement.
This strategy is more than just asking for introductions; it’s cultivating deeper relationships and connecting with clients who genuinely align with your values.
Why Tone Matters
When asking for Active Referrals, your tone of voice plays a crucial role, so it’s best to make these requests in person or via a video or audio call. In written form, the request might come across as pushy or insincere. Instead, it needs to be a genuine conversation. Before you reach out, ensure you’re in a positive state of mind—what we call the “thriving mode.” This means feeling good about your services, being clear on what you offer, and being open to receiving new clients.
This article guides you through a straightforward template to confidently initiate Active Referral conversations.
The Active Referral Template
1.
Identify Your Favorites: List 3-5 former or current clients you enjoyed working with. If you’re just starting out, list friends instead.
2.
Reflect on Qualities: Think about the top 3-5 qualities you appreciate most when working with them. For friends, consider the qualities you value and enjoy about them.
3.
Plan Your Outreach: Schedule a time to reach out to your selected individuals. Make it easy on yourself by including their names, contact details, and the qualities you listed in your calendar invite.
4.
Prep Your Mindset: On the day of your scheduled outreach, prepare yourself mentally and physically. Get into a positive headspace—remember why you love your business and the good you bring to the world. If you feel anxious, use techniques we teach in the “From Freakout to Freedom” training like rolling your joints, shaking your body, and stretching to release tension.
5.
Make Contact: Reach out to your selected individuals. Use a friendly approach, like: “Hi [Name], I’d love to catch up and hear what you’re up to. I’d also like to share what I’m working on. Can we find a time to connect soon?”
6.
Prepare for the Call: Keep your list of the top qualities you appreciate about them on hand.
7.
Engage in the Conversation: During the call, start by asking how they’ve been and what they’re currently involved in. Listen actively to understand their situation.
8.
Introduce “The Active Referral” Request: When it’s your turn to share, explain what you’re working on. Then, use a version of the following template:
“Hey [Name], I’d love to ask you something about business. Are you available for that conversation?
If they agree, continue with:
“I’m currently open to working with more clients, and I wanted to talk to you because you embody the qualities I appreciate in my ideal clients:
- [ex: ‘You are resilient and manage your emotions well.’]
- [ex: ‘You take responsibility for your life and actions.’]
- [ex: ‘You’re kind in your expression.’]
- [ex: ‘You work on your inner world.’]
- [ex: ‘You care deeply about the world at large.’]
Those are the qualities I love in the clients I work with.
Here’s my question: Is there anyone in your life who shares these qualities, needs services like mine, and could afford to work with me?
Would you be willing to think about it for a minute?
I assure you, I’ll treat them with respect and build a relationship, not just jump into a sale. If they need what I offer, I’ll explore working together; if not, I’ll have made a meaningful connection.”
Essential Note: never give away anyone’s personal information without prior consent, or before doing an introduction.
The Value of Authenticity and Courage
It’s important to be clear: the goal isn’t to make an immediate sale when an introduction is made. The focus is on building an authentic relationship, getting to know the person, and seeing if there’s a mutual fit.
And yes, both the person you’re asking for a referral and the person you’re introduced to might say no. That’s okay! By taking courageous action, you’re expanding your network and increasing the chance of meeting someone amazing. Remember, every “No” brings you closer to a “Yes.”
Asking for Active Referrals might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you’ll realize how much you enjoy working with people who share the qualities you admire. And there’s nothing wrong with asking to be connected with more people like them!
The Active Referral is one of the best ways to work with your ideal clients because you’re seeking introductions to people who embody the qualities you value. It’s a powerful practice in asking for what you want, and you’ll be amazed at what can happen when you do.
Being courageous to have the potentially challenging conversation of asking for The Active Referral is a pathway to the thriving business freedom you seek.
If you’re ready to refine your approach to asking for referrals and want to feel great while doing it, consider our training, Be Seen: Ethical Self-Promotion Strategies for Entrepreneurs.
Marla Mattenson
With a 25+ year career, Mattenson is a trailblazer in transforming sales paradigms from transactional to relational for professionals who prioritize the integrity & fulfillment of their services. She is a champion of consent-based sales.
www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson
