Choosing to be curious, to be in a place of inquiry and wonder, opens up space to learn about another person. And for me, residing in a place of inquisitiveness and having curiosity frees me from any agenda; I can release any goal to sell or “make them agree” to what I am offering. 

Instead, I can easily and simply honor my potential client, while becoming curious about who they are and what they need. This is what is meant by the first principle in Ethical Sales, Humans Over Transactions. 

A Personal Example:

For many years, I have served in the role of Guest Relations at my spiritual center. A few weeks ago, I was invited to step into a leadership role: a role that would have me leading a key part of the Guest Relationship Ministry and several volunteers. Initially, I felt a mix of joy, relief, and frustration all at the same time.

The feelings of joy and relief showed up in response to me knowing I would be playing a larger and important role that I knew I could handle, and that I would be making a bigger difference. 

The feeling of  frustration arose as I made assumptions about what would be required of me if I said yes to the role. I was concerned that this new opportunity might be more of a burden than a joy. This assumption clearly dampened my joy until I got curious. 

Because I was able to access curiosity – the ability to wonder instead of make assumptions – I chose to communicate with the leadership from this place of curiosity to find out more. I asked some clarifying questions, and found out what this new responsibility required of me was actually going to be a lot more playful and graceful for me. I was then free to see aspects of the role I wanted to shift and alter to make things run more smoothly, and to ensure my new responsibility would be more successful. And I continue to choose to relate to the volunteers on my team from that same place of curiosity ongoing. 

I have been asking questions, free from manipulation or control. 

In Ethical Sales we practice the philosophy of Humans Over Transactions where there is a mutual honoring of the relationship with transparent communication.

Curiosity In Professional Life:

A skill I learned during my MA program, simply called “Heart-Centered Listening,” and perhaps more than any other has been the biggest learning and gift for me: be receptive, and open to all that another person has to share. 

With this shift to openness and receptivity, I find myself in an observer-like energy that is not attached to outcomes. Residing here releases attachment to a specific answer or response, too. My reactivity and stress levels decrease in direct proportion to my detachment. Everything gets easier, and this extends to what I am also learning about money and income, too. 

In that vein, I’ve been realizing I don’t need to “push content” filled with solutions out to social media onto viewers. Instead, I can share from a place of curious inquiry. And in fact, I’ve found I prefer it! 

I notice that as I inquire – such as  following up with people who take my Relationship Quiz [1] and asking questions about their experience – I am having much more successful, enjoyable conversations with the people I’m interacting with rather than when I’ve tried to pitch them with expectations.

The result? I gain valuable insight and perspective from others.

This is a refreshing approach to connection as a practitioner who is also his own salesperson. Rather than mining for answers I already know, or pushing my agenda and trying to pitch something, I gain value and connection when I ask my audience and the people I come in contact with, “What does this mean for you?”