How One Business Owner Transformed His Sales Approach
I’m on a coaching call with a frustrated business owner.
He and his wife run a high-touch, deeply curated wedding business, specializing in exquisite, one-of-a-kind elopements and intimate wedding experiences. And he’s struggling with low energy — resulting in low conversion rates — from potential clients during sales calls.
“I don’t get it,” he says. “I feel like I’m doing everything right. We require both partners to be on the sales call after they apply to work with us. We vet them before we even get on Zoom. But then I get on the call, and I can tell immediately — it’s not going to go anywhere. Sometimes they’re not even in the same room together!”
He describes the pattern: One person (often the bride) is engaged, leaning in, asking questions. The other? Checked out, staring off into the distance, barely responding. Sometimes even scrolling through their phone or nodding absentmindedly.
And even worse? The sales calls that happen in a parked car.
“I swear, when they take the call from a car, I can already predict the outcome — almost zero chance of them booking,” he says. “But what do I do about that?”
I love this question. Because woven into it are even bigger questions about boundaries, self-respect, and truly embracing one of the core values of the Ethical Sales Institute: Sell the Way You Serve.
Before we get into the specifics of what to say, I ask him a foundational question:
“Are you aware of how important emotional safety is in these conversations?”
At first, he thinks I mean for the client. But I am talking about him.
Our Disconnect Between Selling and Serving
I know exactly why this is bothering him so much.
He and his wife don’t simply “run a wedding business.” They curate exquisite, Michelin-star-level wedding experiences. Every detail is intentional, every moment is crafted with care.
Their couples don’t just show up and go through the motions—they are guided through a deeply personal, once-in-a-lifetime journey crafted especially for them.
Yet, the way this amazing, entrepreneurial couple are selling doesn’t fully match the way they are serving.
“Would you ever let your clients show up on their wedding day the way they show up to your sales calls?” I ask.
He laughs, shaking his head. “Hell no.”
“Exactly. So why are you allowing them to show up like that in the first experience they have with you?”
Silence.
I can feel the realization land.
“I think I’ve been disrespecting myself,” he admits. “By allowing this to happen.”
This is the shift; the breakthrough moment:
He has been unknowingly tolerating behaviors that feel off, but he hasn’t drawn a clear line to enhance the level of safety for himself (and therefore the client) during calls with potential clients.
Why?
Because he has been afraid of losing the sale.
Sell the Way You Serve Means Setting the Standard
He now realizes there’s a deeper question here: Why am I afraid to say no to a less-than-ideal client?
At the core of it is a common mindset block: the fear of missing out. If he pushes back, would he lose the sale?
But when we reframe it together, it’s clear — he isn’t missing out on anything:
“So what do I actually do when someone shows up to a call in their car?” he asks.
“You tell them no.”
“Just… like that?”
“Yes. You set the standard. The same way a Michelin-star restaurant won’t seat you if you show up in a T-shirt and flip-flops. Not to be difficult or rude, but because they’re creating an experience that demands a certain level of care. And you are too.”
I guide him through the exact language to use:
“Hey, I noticed you’re taking this call from your car. We actually ask all of our couples to be in a stable, quiet place for these conversations because they’re important. Would you be able to reschedule when you’re in a better environment?”
And if they push back?
“I totally understand if this feels like an inconvenience, and that’s okay. We hold a high standard for our experience, and if that’s not the right fit for you, we completely respect that.”
No justifying, no apologizing, no bending the rules to make it work.
“You’re not losing a client,” I remind him. “You’re filtering for the right ones.”
“Calling Out” Vs. “Calling In”
“Okay, so what about when someone’s just not engaged? When they’re on the call but totally checked out?” he asks.
“First, give them the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone expresses enthusiasm in the same way! And at the same time, don’t let that keep you from noticing it out loud.”
I give him another script:
“Hey, I just want to check in. I’m noticing you seem a little disengaged, and that’s totally okay — I just want to make sure this is something you’re excited about. How are you feeling about everything so far? What are you most looking forward to?”
And if they still don’t seem into it?
Then I would add:
“It seems like this might not be the right fit. And that’s totally okay. We only work with couples who are a full-body yes to this experience. If you want to take some time to think about it and reach out when you’re more sure, we’re happy to do that.”
The key is to give the client the benefit of the doubt while being bold in naming what you notice.
It’s how we build intimacy in sales: we’re not calling them out to make them feel uncomfortable, we’re calling them in to the incredible results they can receive from working with us.
“So instead of just tolerating it, I actually use it as a way to filter,” he realizes.
“Exactly.”
This is when he has his final breakthrough:
“You know what this reminds me of?” he says. ” That Michelin-star restaurant. They have a dress code. A standard. And they don’t lower it just to fill seats.”
This is it.
“We’re not just an all-inclusive wedding service,” he continues. “We’re full-service. We’re high-touch. Our vendors are next level. And we need to sell like that too.”
So we outline a new approach:
✓
Set the standard before the call. Every couple will now receive an email outlining exactly how to show up — no cars, no distractions, fully present in the same room together. Even better? Including a question about it on the application process for them to agree to honor.
✓
Be bold about naming disengagement. If someone isn’t engaged, he can name it directly and give them the opportunity to opt out or opt in. Time saved for all involved
✓
Trust that saying “no” creates space for the right clients. No more forcing it. No more tolerating less-than-ideal clients out of fear.
This is Sell the Way You Serve in action.
No More Sales Calls from the Car
As we wrap up, he laughs.
“So basically, no more sales calls from the car. Ever.”
“Ever,” I confirm.
Because when you set the standard at the beginning, you don’t have to deal with misalignment later.
When you sell with the same care, intention, and excellence that you serve with… you don’t waste time convincing anyone to work with you.
Your Ideal Clients recognize themselves and say, “Hell yes.”
And everyone else?
They find another service that fits their needs — without costing you your integrity, energy, or joy.
This is what it means to Sell the Way You Serve.
Marla Mattenson
With a 25+ year career, Mattenson is a trailblazer in transforming sales paradigms from transactional to relational for professionals who prioritize the integrity & fulfillment of their services. She is a champion of consent-based sales.
www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson
