I’m listening to a podcast about the Austin Police Department in preparation for a meeting.
The chief of police is being interviewed, and the host — also a police officer — asks her a question about buy-in:
“What kind of buy-in would you want the officers to have?”
The chief responds:
“I actually don’t like that word, ‘buy-in.’ I’m not selling anything.”
Immediately, my brain lights up: I know this philosophy. It’s unintentionally anti-sales.
It’s the aversion to the old paradigm of traditional sales: selling for profit at the cost of everything else.
I know what she means; I get it. She’s not in a transactional engagement with her officers, she’s relational: she cares deeply about their experience. And the host’s intention is really to ask, “How are you helping your officers align with the department’s mission and the vision?”
So when the term “buy-in” enters the conversation, it feels almost offensive. “Sales” is still a bad word to many.
I wish I could have been a third participant in the podcast to share the philosophy of ethical selling.
I would have said, “Yes, you are! You’re selling an idea. You’re selling the idea of excellence in the department. You’re selling the idea that taking care of yourself is vital to being a true servant of the city. You’re selling something.”
Because sales isn’t just about money.
At the Ethical Sales Institute, we define a sale as any “yes” or “no” question that creates a transaction of time, energy, attention, or money (we call that T.E.A.M.).
Like:
- “Sweetheart, would you take out the trash?” (That’s a potential sale.)
- “Darling, I want you to choose what we eat for dinner tonight. Can you do that?” (That’s a potential sale.)
- “It sounds like I can help you with exactly what you're needing. Would you like to work together?” (That’s a potential sale.)
Every single day, we are engaged in sales — whether we’re aware of it or not.
And more often than not, we’re selling an idea before we ever sell an action, product, or service.
Years ago, when I was working as a massage therapist, I would often notice people rubbing their necks while standing in line at a coffee shop.
I wouldn’t go straight to selling my services. Instead, I’d say something like:
“Neck pain? Yeah, I totally get it. That’s rough. Have you ever considered massages? They can really help with that kind of thing.”
And then, after opening the door to the idea and being in conversation for a bit, I’d add:
“That’s actually what I do. If you want my help, here’s my card.”
I wasn’t selling my services first. I was selling the idea that a solution existed.
That’s what ethical, natural sales look like. No pressure, no sliminess; just an honest exchange that allows someone to consider a new possibility.
And it’s not just in business:
We’re selling ideas all the time.
- A lawyer presenting a case is selling a perspective.
- A therapist is selling the belief that healing is possible.
- A CEO is selling the vision of where the company is going.
- A parent is selling the idea that vegetables are, in fact, important.
We do this every day. Which means the question isn’t whether you’re selling. It’s: Are you selling in a way that aligns with your values?
A while ago, I had a conversation with a team member about this very thing.
I said that I wanted the team to be “bought in” to our company values.
And they responded, “Ooh, I don’t really like that term. It feels like I’m being sold on something. It’s more like I align with the values, not ‘buy in.’”
So we explored it further. And we realized that what they were really saying was:
I don’t want to be manipulated into something. I want to make a conscious investment of my time, energy, and attention into something that resonates with me.
And that? That’s exactly what Ethical Sales are.
No manipulation, coercion, or pressure. Ethical sales are an invitation to invest in something meaningful — whether that’s a product, a service, an idea, or a shared vision.
And yes, “investment” is often thought of as a financial term. Yet investing isn’t just about money. When you say “yes” to anything, you’re investing your resources:
- Your time.
- Your energy.
- Your attention.
(And when Time, Energy, and Attention are being invested? We call that “having T.E.A.”)
This is why Ethical Sales matters. Because when we become conscious of the fact that we’re always selling — whether it’s an idea, a perspective, or a service — we start to do it with more integrity.
We stop trying to convince people and start helping them make empowered, aligned decisions.
Maybe if the chief of police had this expanded definition of “buy in” and sales, she would have felt comfortable responding to the host’s question without needing to reframe it. And it actually showed her high level of integrity, not wanting to align with outdated sales philosophies and understandings.
So…
What are you selling today?
And more importantly — how are you selling it?
READ NEXT:
Marla Mattenson
With a 25+ year career, Mattenson is a trailblazer in transforming sales paradigms from transactional to relational for professionals who prioritize the integrity & fulfillment of their services. She is a champion of consent-based sales.
www.instagram.com/marla.mattenson
